Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn`t have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY`S DADDY!" I couldn`t get out in time. FML

Like if -you`ve ever Ate all of your popcorn before the movie started -Spent an entire day in your pajamas- Accidently called your friend by the wrong name..- Laughed for 5-10minutes straight..- Couldn`t find your phone when it`s in your hand or- Felt like a ninja when you walk through the house at night..!! ;
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